Him

Posted on by lostinblue

I have that one person in my life. The one that I love the most,and the one that I think I will never be able to forget. He wasn’t my first love;however, he was the one that I truly loved. By loving him, I have learnt a lot of things. I have come understand what does loving someone really like. I have come to realize that it is not about the outside appearances or the materials. When you find the one for you, you both will just like connect to each other. And that when the cooler or the better guys don’t matter anymore. Why? Easy question! “Because they’re not him” .Then I have come to understand what people means when they said loving someone means accepting all their flaws. He made mistakes;he has shown me his imperfect sides that I had never expected. I don’t know how,but instead of running away, I learnt to accept him as who he is and love him with all his flaws. I have learnt to forgive and give people chances even if I know they ain’t gonna change,and I would end up get hurt again. why? easy question again! Because rather than looking stupid or easy, I don’t wanna lose him. I had always believed that we could happen; had always believe that I could save us.

but in the end, I couldn’t…….

Because loving him didn’t teach me to be patient.. It didn’t teach me to overcome my insecure.It didn’t teach me to say exactly how I feel;It didn’t teach me to talk to each other about the problem, instead of ignoring each other texts for months.I was young and immature,and I let my pride and ego took over me.

or maybe

we didn’t feel the same way and I had never been enough for him.

 

Published by lostinblue

My favorite little writing space. I'm a starter, not a writer, I just write whatever is on my mind.

10 thoughts on “Him”

  2. But maybe in my case it’s different- I don’t know even who it is in real so it’s like loving someone you can only feel and then he comes disguised as someone else and I lose the contact, the feeling and don’t like what he sometimes says and then I see him online as I knew him before and just trill. I don’t know why he does it but I don’t like it because I don’t know if it’s a play or what is the reason behind.
    It’s like living in two realities- loving someone and wanting to be with him and on the other side facing things which make me wonder what the hell am I doing.
    And I don’t see any solution. I know I love him, he inspires me and makes me feel much better on the other hand I don’t want to have any private contact with him (at least not in disguise)

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    1. Awww I see .. there’re something I can relate. Sometimes he would ignore me for months. He left without reasons and back with excuses. He acted like he would changed and ask for chance. And that’s what scare me. I couldn’t figure out if he was sincere or if he had any bad intention behind it . 😦

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      5. And did he ever cheat on you or lie to you or take advantage of you in any way? Because if not- why did you think he might be not sincere?

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      7. Well, this is the reason I don’t want to have private contact with him- in my eyes almost everything was a lie but the worse thing was that he often stubbornly convinced me that he tells the truth.
        For me it went so far that I don’t believe in anything he says, even when he talks about love towards me- I don’t believe him anymore. So what’s the sense to continue anything?

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